Well its been over a year since my last post. I have now lost a total of 230lbs since my surgery in December 2009, I am currently weighing 170lbs, and very proud of myself. I have health issues that are still a problem. since my last post in march of 2011. I had to emergency surgery to repair a perforated bowel and a hole in my new stomach. Which apparently if I hadn't gone into the hospital when I did I would have died in 4 hours from the time I got to the hospital, so that is scary. Then it was scary to hear the resident and interns at the hospital explaining the surgery to me and all the complications and the at the end when I asked what my chances were of coming out of the surgery alive were, having them tell me they didn't think I would live through the surgery. That scared the crap out of me. So there I was in an emergency room bed, alone thinking I wasn't going to ever see my husband or my parents or family again. I called my husband and left a goodbye I love you message on his voicemail and then called my parents to tell them I was about to have surgery and to ask that if I died could they please make sure they kept an eye on my husband and helped him through it. But thankfully I didn't die and I just spent a week in the hospital recovering, where I met a truly amazing woman who showed me that I was truly blessed. Her name was Michelle and she was suffering from stage 4 stomach cancer. I was pretty sure she was going to die, but her family was pretty sure she was going to beat it. I really hoped she did because she was a sweet, kind woman who had 3 kids and a truly wonderful family who she loved and who loved her. But what amazed me about her strength and her faith, was that no matter how poorly the nurses she got treated her, she always had a smile for everyone that walked in the room. I tried to help her as much as I could considering I was recovering myself after pretty major surgery, but I at least for some weird un-explained reason got the really nice, sweet, kind nurses and they would help me when i pushed my button, where as her's would leave her pushing her button for hours at at a time and when they did come to see what she wanted would be rude to her and it was just sad and angering to watch. But what I took from my week with Michelle and from my whole experience with that was that life truly is precious and short and it to difficult to hold grudges and be rude and bitchy and mean. I now try to be very nice and helpful and sweet and kind to everyone, i try and treat everyone the way that I really want to be treated. It doesn't always workout that well as I find most people are mostly into themselves and don't care about anyone else. Some of the other things that have occured since the last posting are that I have continued to have a fainting problem and they still haven't been able to figure out what is causing it. I was diagnosed with a seizure disorder, I now get extreme abdominal pain almost on a daily basis and they can't figure that out either. I have to go to hemotologist to have them examine my blood, so that maybe they can figure out why my body can't absorb the essential vitamins I need. I am on three medications and multiple vitamins daily now. I can't workout at all, I have a abdominal aorta that has a very thin wall and is at some point in my life most likely going to have an aneurysm form off of it. My fingers and my feet get ice cold and recently my feet started turning blue if i stand and walk around to long.
But all though all of this is going on, I don't regret ever doing the gastric by-pass and I am so super proud of myself for losing all the weight and for all the hard work it takes to maintain the weight loss. Because what I think most people going into something like this don't realize is that you can fail at this. You can gain all the weight back if your not careful, if you don't really work at it and watch what you eat and how you eat and why you eat certain things. One of the things we found out while I have gone through this is I have Celiac disease and that my body can't tolerate wheat or dairy products and so I have gone pretty much vegan and it really has helped me feel better. There are so many things that one doesn't think about when they are going into this, and if they don't really do the research and the soul searching, i really don't think they will make it. I have also noticed that there are people who have the surgery because their doctor tells them to, or their spouse tells them to, and those people unless they truly make the life style change and the health change and they truly want to being doing it, those people wont succeed either.
I am very blessed to have the on going support of my parents and my husband who has been by my side through every step and through everything that has happened. He worries and he cares and gets mad when the doctors can't figure out my health. Its funny I started with 1 family doctor who didn't want me to do this surgery because he doesn't believe in it and well because he doesn't really want me as a patient. I now have 4 specialists and dietitian's here in Toronto that I see on a regular basis. And the funny part is my specialists care more about me then my own family doctor. They make me feel like they really care about my health and want me to be healthy. They are kind and caring, even if I might wait in their office for over an hour past my schedule appointment time, it doesn't make me mad or upset me because I know that when I do get my time with them, it will be quality time and they will listen to me and my concerns and they will requests tests if needed. They will search out the answers, if they can. Most of my specialists have over 3000 patients each, and I always find it funny when I am sitting there and patients will be waiting and they will be getting irate and angry because their appointment time has come and gone. I just look at it as he is a specialist affiliated with a hospital, his office is in a hospital, he gets called away on emergencies regularly. Its bound to make him run late. There is no point in getting mad, or angry all that does is make your blood pressure go up and really doesn't get you anywhere, because there are still going to be people in front of you. No matter how much you yell or get pissy there will always be others that were before you, who you can't just butt in front of because you feel like your time is more valuable then theirs.
Well I guess I have rambled on long enough and I will try to post more regularly then once a year...lol maybe I can aim for once a week or once a month. As now that I am maintaining my weight loss there isn't as much to say as there was in the beginning.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Wow been a long time.
Well I can honestly say it has been a long time since I sat down to write on my blog. Well it is now March 2011 and I have been out of surgery for almost 15 months. I have lost a total of 160 pounds so far, have 30 or 40 more to go, but it is now a struggle as due to some new health concerns that haven't been figured out by the doctors yet, I am not allowed to workout. So though I am still watching what I eat and going for the good and always soul searching and asking myself why I crave certain foods, I am not losing like I once did. This is something that I knew would happen and yet I still find myself a little let down when i go a week or two without a weight loss.
One of the good things to come from this besides being a size I haven't been since I was 12 years old. Is that I now apparently hate the taste of chocolate and I can't stand the taste of sugar. These are two things that are going to help in the long term maintenance of my weight loss goals.
So with all that said I started this journey weighing 390 lbs and today I weigh 230 lbs and I haven't weighed this since I was 12 or 13 years old and its funny when I tell people that who have known me all my life, they are shocked because apparently I never looked as fat as I really was. Guess there can be something said for being tall...lol I will try and update more regularly from now on. Hard to believe the last time I wrote in here was July 2010 so I will try harder to get on every month and keep up my progress.
Talk to you all soon.
One of the good things to come from this besides being a size I haven't been since I was 12 years old. Is that I now apparently hate the taste of chocolate and I can't stand the taste of sugar. These are two things that are going to help in the long term maintenance of my weight loss goals.
So with all that said I started this journey weighing 390 lbs and today I weigh 230 lbs and I haven't weighed this since I was 12 or 13 years old and its funny when I tell people that who have known me all my life, they are shocked because apparently I never looked as fat as I really was. Guess there can be something said for being tall...lol I will try and update more regularly from now on. Hard to believe the last time I wrote in here was July 2010 so I will try harder to get on every month and keep up my progress.
Talk to you all soon.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
July 6th 2010 7 Months after surgery
Hi there, yes I know its been awhile since I have posted or talked to you all, I have been pretty busy. since my last post I have had surgery again, moved from one city to another, and celebrated a birthday and the celebration of another weight loss milestone.
As of July 3rd 2010 I have lost 125.3 lbs in this weight loss journey that started for me last November 18th 2010. I have also had to have my gall bladder removed which can sometimes occur in rapid weight loss the gall bladder just can't handle it and flares up and causes extreme pain. I had more pain with this surgery then I did with the gastric bypass. I also had some complications in this surgery that are causing me to take a lot longer to heal and that is frustrating.
I celebrated turning 35 on June 11th 2010 and I was so excited to be able to go shopping for a whole new summer wardrobe. a year ago at this time i was wearing a plus size 26 to 30 depending on the make and style of the clothes, and I am proud to say that I am into a size 16/18 or a 2x/3x..... I am finally starting to see the weight loss like everyone else has been saying for months now. I still battle with my thoughts and feelings of how i don't look like i want to but that is slowly changing. I am taking responsibility for who I am and what I do and why I eat what I eat and how I need to change what I eat.
I have recently moved to Toronto Ontario and find myself surprisingly loving it. we have moved to a very small apartment but it is attached to a mall with a subway station built in, so I really can go anywhere and walk everywhere. I haven't really been able to get out much but I do try to at least get out and walk for 30 to 60 minutes but with the healing of this last surgery I find it a little hard to get out and walk, but I am doing it. As I lose more and more weight I am so much more motivated to exercise and get out and be social...something I hadn't done in years, I would hide inside because I hated myself and how people would see me and judge me and make comments without even knowing who I was. Now I go out and still see people judging me and making comments but I just think to myself, that I know what a success I am to date and I know where I am going to be in 6 months or a year and they can all kiss my ass.
So I will try and be better at updates but I can't promise anything...lol
As of July 3rd 2010 I have lost 125.3 lbs in this weight loss journey that started for me last November 18th 2010. I have also had to have my gall bladder removed which can sometimes occur in rapid weight loss the gall bladder just can't handle it and flares up and causes extreme pain. I had more pain with this surgery then I did with the gastric bypass. I also had some complications in this surgery that are causing me to take a lot longer to heal and that is frustrating.
I celebrated turning 35 on June 11th 2010 and I was so excited to be able to go shopping for a whole new summer wardrobe. a year ago at this time i was wearing a plus size 26 to 30 depending on the make and style of the clothes, and I am proud to say that I am into a size 16/18 or a 2x/3x..... I am finally starting to see the weight loss like everyone else has been saying for months now. I still battle with my thoughts and feelings of how i don't look like i want to but that is slowly changing. I am taking responsibility for who I am and what I do and why I eat what I eat and how I need to change what I eat.
I have recently moved to Toronto Ontario and find myself surprisingly loving it. we have moved to a very small apartment but it is attached to a mall with a subway station built in, so I really can go anywhere and walk everywhere. I haven't really been able to get out much but I do try to at least get out and walk for 30 to 60 minutes but with the healing of this last surgery I find it a little hard to get out and walk, but I am doing it. As I lose more and more weight I am so much more motivated to exercise and get out and be social...something I hadn't done in years, I would hide inside because I hated myself and how people would see me and judge me and make comments without even knowing who I was. Now I go out and still see people judging me and making comments but I just think to myself, that I know what a success I am to date and I know where I am going to be in 6 months or a year and they can all kiss my ass.
So I will try and be better at updates but I can't promise anything...lol
Sunday, April 18, 2010
21 weeks into the journey
Hi there,
Well it is 21 weeks into the journey of weight loss surgery. I am sitting at 98lbs lost and life is interesting. I am in a size of jean that I haven't been in for 20 years. Life is becoming very interesting. I love this new life, i have more flexibility than i have had since i was a child. I am learning what it takes for me to be happy from the inside out. It has taken a very long time for me to get to this point, where i can be sort of be happy. I am not going to say it is easy. Cause it is anything but easy. I spent the first 4 months throwing up every time i ate anything. and I found out this past week that I am going to have to get my gall bladder removed. Apparently it is a normal thing when you have rapid weight loss and apparently i have been losing weight faster than expected even for having gastric by-pass surgery. It was nice to finally find out that the excruciating pain that i have been experience off and on my whole life was no longer just in my head. I would complain about the pain off and on and be told "oh its in your head" or "its just growing pains" "get over it." . One of the things that I am finding out lately is that when people are negative to you and make you feel small and like your worthless, it is usually because they are the ones with the issues. It takes a lot to sit back and take what they say and then remember that its not me, its really them and don't listen to what they are saying. One of the other things that I am figuring out is that when you go to the foods that you feel you can't live without they really don't make you better. They make it worst... Eating healthy is now a way of life and I am actually enjoying it immensely. I am not saying that i don't fall off the wagon. Well guess i am going to cut this off, take care everyone.
Well it is 21 weeks into the journey of weight loss surgery. I am sitting at 98lbs lost and life is interesting. I am in a size of jean that I haven't been in for 20 years. Life is becoming very interesting. I love this new life, i have more flexibility than i have had since i was a child. I am learning what it takes for me to be happy from the inside out. It has taken a very long time for me to get to this point, where i can be sort of be happy. I am not going to say it is easy. Cause it is anything but easy. I spent the first 4 months throwing up every time i ate anything. and I found out this past week that I am going to have to get my gall bladder removed. Apparently it is a normal thing when you have rapid weight loss and apparently i have been losing weight faster than expected even for having gastric by-pass surgery. It was nice to finally find out that the excruciating pain that i have been experience off and on my whole life was no longer just in my head. I would complain about the pain off and on and be told "oh its in your head" or "its just growing pains" "get over it." . One of the things that I am finding out lately is that when people are negative to you and make you feel small and like your worthless, it is usually because they are the ones with the issues. It takes a lot to sit back and take what they say and then remember that its not me, its really them and don't listen to what they are saying. One of the other things that I am figuring out is that when you go to the foods that you feel you can't live without they really don't make you better. They make it worst... Eating healthy is now a way of life and I am actually enjoying it immensely. I am not saying that i don't fall off the wagon. Well guess i am going to cut this off, take care everyone.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
16.5 weeks in to the journey
Hi there, well I am 16.5 weeks into my journey, and 13.5 weeks after surgery. I have lost a total of 90lbs since the start of this journey and 70lbs of that since the surgery in December. I have more energy than I have every had, I can only fit into one pair of pants without them falling off. My shoes don't even fit anymore i walk right out of them. I weigh less now then I did 10 years ago...I am totally amazed at how much life is changing for me. I am so excited about what the future has to bring.
Now I am not going to sit here and say that I am not having issues. I do, I still crave food that is bad for me, but thankfully everytime i try and eat something that i really shouldn't i throw up, so i guess it is my body's way of making sure I succeed at this.
Now another thing that I am having trouble with is that everyone that I talk to or tell about the surgery tells me about someone they know or have heard of that had the surgery and failed after the initial weight loss and that scares me, cause i am going through hell right now to lose the weight and am so afraid that it will come back. I workout at the gym, I am still eating the high protein low carb diet, I don't drink pop and very rarely have juice. I try and make sure that i drink enough water everyday but it is so hard to do. There are most days that I know i am dehydrated yet can't seem to get myself to drink. I am taking my vitamins which is a chore as well cause i have never been good at taking meds or vitamins, i am good for a few days and then suck for a few days...which i know is also leading to dehydration and most likely my anemia acting up pretty bad. But all i can do is try and stay on my focused path and try and be happy.
Its funny I sit here and say I have lost 90lbs but yet when I look in the mirror I really don't see any physical change...I am not sure why but others say they can see the change...yet I can't, I really hope that changes soon. I can see a change in my clothes of course but other than that i really don't see the difference.
Well not much else I can say right now as it is 7:46am and I haven't been to sleep yet tonight. looks like it might be a long day...
Now I am not going to sit here and say that I am not having issues. I do, I still crave food that is bad for me, but thankfully everytime i try and eat something that i really shouldn't i throw up, so i guess it is my body's way of making sure I succeed at this.
Now another thing that I am having trouble with is that everyone that I talk to or tell about the surgery tells me about someone they know or have heard of that had the surgery and failed after the initial weight loss and that scares me, cause i am going through hell right now to lose the weight and am so afraid that it will come back. I workout at the gym, I am still eating the high protein low carb diet, I don't drink pop and very rarely have juice. I try and make sure that i drink enough water everyday but it is so hard to do. There are most days that I know i am dehydrated yet can't seem to get myself to drink. I am taking my vitamins which is a chore as well cause i have never been good at taking meds or vitamins, i am good for a few days and then suck for a few days...which i know is also leading to dehydration and most likely my anemia acting up pretty bad. But all i can do is try and stay on my focused path and try and be happy.
Its funny I sit here and say I have lost 90lbs but yet when I look in the mirror I really don't see any physical change...I am not sure why but others say they can see the change...yet I can't, I really hope that changes soon. I can see a change in my clothes of course but other than that i really don't see the difference.
Well not much else I can say right now as it is 7:46am and I haven't been to sleep yet tonight. looks like it might be a long day...
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Week 11.5 after the surgery
Hi everyone,
just checking in and giving an update. I am 13.5 weeks into the journey and 11.5 weeks since surgery. as of today I have lost 80 lbs since Nov 18th 2009...I started the gym and working out 3 to 5 times a week. I am in love with the extra energy and I am in love with how happy I feel and how much I enjoy working out. I have started a journey in selling Avon to try and get back into the working world. I can't get over the change in mind and body and soul in going through all of this....I have been talking to people about this journey and people keep telling me good luck cause everyone they know didn't lose the weight that was expected. Well what I say to that is it sucks they didn't go into this as it is, a new chance at life...to change your lifestyle, your heart, to get control of your eating. This is another short one as I really don't know what to say. Plus the men's olympic gold medal hockey game and the closing ceremony's start later...If anyone wants to talk just email me....lisalewiseland@gmail.com
just checking in and giving an update. I am 13.5 weeks into the journey and 11.5 weeks since surgery. as of today I have lost 80 lbs since Nov 18th 2009...I started the gym and working out 3 to 5 times a week. I am in love with the extra energy and I am in love with how happy I feel and how much I enjoy working out. I have started a journey in selling Avon to try and get back into the working world. I can't get over the change in mind and body and soul in going through all of this....I have been talking to people about this journey and people keep telling me good luck cause everyone they know didn't lose the weight that was expected. Well what I say to that is it sucks they didn't go into this as it is, a new chance at life...to change your lifestyle, your heart, to get control of your eating. This is another short one as I really don't know what to say. Plus the men's olympic gold medal hockey game and the closing ceremony's start later...If anyone wants to talk just email me....lisalewiseland@gmail.com
Friday, February 12, 2010
Week 9 after surgery
Hi there its me again, Okay so there really isn't much to say or talk about now. It is officially 9 weeks after surgery and I have lost a total of 70lbs and feel amazing. My clothes all pretty much fall off when i walk. I joined a gym to help aid in the weight loss and hopefully tone up a little. I know that I wont tone up a lot as the excess skin will make that difficult, but I would like to tone a little. I still have trouble eating some stuff and it really is an experiment right now to see what will go down and what will come back up. I just can't get over the amount of energy I have and just how better I feel. It really is amazing just what 70lbs will do. I am looking forward to every pound that is coming off. I can't wait to go shopping when all the weight is off and buy a new wardrobe. I love talking about my journey with people educating them and just making it more viable for people. I believe that there is still a stigma around gastric bypass and it really shouldn't be. But what I also believe is that you shouldn't be scared of change and making life style changes that will help you live longer and healthier and happier...So I may not be writing everyday or even every week anymore but I am going to check in at least bi-weekly to monthly and let people know my progress and also what new challenges I am facing. I am looking forward to the gym and seeing where this will lead me. I am hoping to get addicted to working out like my mom is so that I can keep my goal of a total life long life style change...If anyone has questions or would like to talk please feel free to email me at lisalewiseland@gmail.com and i will gladly talk to you.
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